Except when you don't because, sometimes, you won't

I called our wise friend and oracle, Sarah Aird, yesterday, moaning about how I was all out of encouragement for this month's letter to the celebrant community because I'm tired and burned out from trying so hard, and yet the inquiries and the bookings are still thin on the ground.

So she encouraged me to write about it so you might know that you are not alone. We're all doing it tough at the moment.

Years ago, I sat in a meeting with Dally Messenger III, and he said something that really pissed me off, that there was no way a marriage celebrant could make a full-time wage.

I had been for over a decade at that point.

But it annoyed me because our words matter, our words shape our world, and in my role as not just a celebrant for my couples but as a mentor, coach, encouragement, and friend to celebrants around the world, I hated the idea that someone in an influential role in my industry was speaking so negatively.

I thought about those words again as I applied for a job this last week. I haven't applied for a job since 2003. I've been offered jobs up until I quit commercial radio in 2013, and I've provided for my family by making marriage ceremonies ever since. Few people are more stunned, saddened, and hurt by this downturn than I am, but the simple act of writing this calmed my soul. I hope that this email might bring peace to you too.

So, what's happening in the wedding industry?

There are four vectors impacting the wedding industry today:

1. Cost of living crisis - Any amount of conversation, Googling, and reading will confirm that a lot of Australia (at least 40%) is doing it tough right now, and luxury spends like weddings are falling down the priority list.
2. Engagement gap - Every year a roughly similar number of people meet, get together, stay together, become engaged, and marry. Covid really messed those numbers up. People didn't meet, people didn't get engaged, and many even broke up. There's a pandemic of love following the pandemic of the spicy cough.
3. Change in the marketing environment - How we market our businesses today has been greatly changed in an interest-graph and algorithm-led way that honestly I - someone who's really interested and well-read on it - am still struggling to succeed in.
4. Covid-era weddings - We, the wedding industry, spent all of 2020, 2021, and 2022 convincing the marketplace that it's good and awesome to have small, intimate weddings and elopements. Maybe they believed us?

What do we do?

If your bookings and inquiries are down, so down that you're feeling down (that's me): Stop, collaborate, and listen.

Here's what I mean.

Stop

Stop, take a deep breath, know that you are not your business, your identity isn't being a celebrant, you are more than your business, and there are massive changes going on in the world today that are affecting your business, and it's not all your fault.

Collaborate

Reach out to your industry friends now that you have your oxygen mask on, and help them. Let them know that they too are not alone.

Generosity, vulnerability, authenticity, these are things that we cultivate in times like today. Collaborate with your community, let them know how you are, ask how they are, find real ways to help each other, and we'll get out of this together.

This is a great time to work with your industry friends to leave each other Google and Facebook reviews, get photoshoots, work on your websites, learn from each other, and enjoy a beverage or a meal.

Listen

Listen to yourself, and listen to the marketplace.

Listen to yourself: What do you need to do to get by, to provide for yourself and your home? To feel valued? How do you feel appreciated and heard? Act on this conversation with yourself. It might mean applying for a job, it might mean a side hustle, it might mean driving for Uber, or it might mean a career change or diversification. I don't have a solution for you, but you do.

Listen to the marketplace: Put your ear to the ground and listen. You have a set of skills and talents that none of us have. Yes, in the past, you've delivered them to the marketplace in one form, but maybe there's a new trend or service you can deliver or change to? Maybe you can deliver a different kind of celebrant service, or wedding service, that is more suitable to the current marketplace of people getting married. Because people are still getting together, they're still getting married, and they will get married in the future, but maybe that marketplace is different, and you can be the first one there?

Open up TikTok and Instagram, Threads and Facebook, read some blogs, and listen to some podcasts. Open your ears and find out how you can deliver value and charge a good fee tomorrow.

It might be in exactly the same way, slightly different, or completely unhinged but totally you.

Either way, congratulations! Today is your day! You're off to Great Places! You're off and away!

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And you are the one who'll decide where to go.

You'll look up and down streets. Look 'em over with care. About some, you will say, "I don't choose to go there." With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street.

And you may not find any you'll want to go down. In that case, of course, you'll head straight out of town.

It's opener there in the wide open air. Out there things can happen - and frequently do - to people as brainy and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen, don't worry. Don't stew. Just go right along. You'll start happening too.

Oh the places you'll go!

You'll be on your way up! You'll be seeing great sights! You'll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.

You won't lag behind because you'll have the speed. You'll pass the whole gang, and you'll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you'll be the best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don't because, sometimes, you won't.

Those final closing words are not my own, if you didn't already know, they are by the late and great Dr. Seuss.

When I'm feeling down or out, I tend to retract and hide, so I want to thank my friend Sarah for encouraging me out of my hole today. And if you're reading this in your hole, I hope my words brought some light to your world, and Dr. Seuss might bring you out of your hole.

Regularly, on the first day of every month, I send an email to everyone subscribed to this email newsletter with pertinent celebrant news and information, but this month it's a little different. You can read former editions and subscribe at mail.celebrant.institute, people tell me they're a good read. If you haven't paid your annual celebrancy fee, log on to your AGD Marriage Celebrants portal and do it now; the invoices were recently issued.

– Josh Withers

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